Scratch Says the Darndest Things

Scratch makes us laugh so hard!  Every day he's got something funny to say - or do - or both, and most of the time it's completely unintentional!

He's nearly 4, but keeps telling us "I'm not getting bigger because I go poop every day!  So I eat lots of food but it all goes out of my body and doesn't get me bigger!"

In our hotel room one morning, he said "We can't leave until I do my workout!" and proceeded to spin the chair around and around.

When he couldn't go zip lining with the family due to weight restrictions, he told everyone there "I can't go because my pounds are too little."

Sioux Falls was recently hit by a tornado.  While driving through town, we were commenting on all of the damages we saw.  A minute later, Scratch asked "Are we still in South Dakota?"  I said "Yes, we haven't driven very far." And he said "But I don't see any more damage!"

When our house flooded a few months ago, he home with me when we first found the water pouring in through the windows.  He saw me worrying and said "Oh, that is not good! That is not supposed to do that!"  I said, "You're right, buddy. Mommy is going to go try to fix it."  He said "I want to help you!"  as I was running back and forth, hauling water, cutting ice, etc, I didn't want him underfoot so I said "You can help by saying a prayer. Say a prayer to Jesus to help us, ok?"  He said "OK, I will Mommy!"  When I came back a few minutes later he said "Mommy - I said a prayer to Jesus but he didn't come!  But then I remembered Jesus is a little baby so I said a prayer to Mary and Dofuf (Joseph) but they didn't come either!  No one is coming to help us!"  He was so traumatized by the flood, he asked every time he heard any sort of noise if it was flooding again.  And he insisted on wearing his rain boots every time he went downstairs for about 3 months following the flood. :)

Lately, we ask him to pray often, since we never know what his prayers will involve.  Some prayers of late: "Please bless Mommy and Kai Kai to be my best, best friends. Please bless that I can tell penis jokes and not get in trouble.  Please bless that we can eat mac and cheese all day long and it will be healthy for our bodies. Please bless that I don't have to eat this salad for dinner because I don't like salad."